Views Archives

December 2010

  • Advisor Impact study on client loyalty just out

    An analysis of the May, 2010 study conducted by Advisor Impact called the “Anatomy of the Referral“  has just been published. In a survey of 1,000 financial services clients, they attempt to define the key elements of what they call an “engaged” client, one that is not only identified as being 1) loyal to their [...]

  • More on Listening

    I got many responses to my email newsletter on the topic of listening, namely, the difference it makes to the quality of thinking on the part of the person who is doing the speaking. I have several wonderful links to share that shed truly insightful light onto this “easier said than done” habit of being. [...]

  • Gunther Weil on Values

    I heard a fascinating presentation on the subject of values today, given by Value Mentor’s founder Gunther Weil, who has taken his expertise in the human and organizational development, and in the years when most everyone else retires, has begun to apply it to families, especially families of wealth seeking to maintain healthy family systems [...]

  • Quality of Listening

    Nancy Kline is author of Time to Think:Listening to Ignite the Human Mind and More Time to Think: A Way of Being in the World. I heard her speak today on a webinar and was very moved, not only by what she said, but the quiet, wise manner in which she said it. Her primary [...]

August 2010

June 2010

  • Billionaires Challenge Each Other to Give Big

    Read this fascinating story in last week’s Fortune about the secretive gathering of billionaires last year, meeting to talk about the difference they could make if they all agreed to give away half their net worth – during and/or after life, a challenge spear-headed by Warren Buffett and Bill and Melinda Gates. The estimated impact [...]

  • Financial advisor sums up the value of an ethical will

    Today’s webinar for financial and legal advisors on how to incorporate ethical wills into client conversations was, as these classes always are, as insightful for me as I believe they are for those who attend. One of the participants, “The reason I’m here is because people are starving  for ways to express themselves before entering [...]

May 2010

  • Good article on ethical wills: Legacy letters leave lasting impressions

    Today’s Daytona Beach News-Journal had a good column on ethical wills and names creators of them as diverse as President Obama, Mary McLeod Bethune and reality TV star Kate Gosselin. Three lines especially stood out for me: “Legacy letters are recognized as much for their benefit to the writer as the for intended reader.”  So [...]

  • Common perceived obstacle to writing an ethical will nicely handled in article

    The Accidental Senior column made a great point today about why some people are hesitant to write an ethical will: that nobody would be interested in reading it.  Quoting from the article, “People often think that nobody would be interested in knowing all this about them, and they are usually very wrong! If you were [...]

April 2010

  • Heartbreaking death fuels Mom’s creative drive

    That legacy is a mystery that can never be fully “planned” is evident in the story of Melissa Avrin and her mother, Judy, published this week in the New York Times.  Melissa was just 19 when she died last year from the complications of bulimia. After Melissa died, July was reading her journal and came [...]

  • Article on ethical wills in Atlantic Trust’s magazine

    The Advisor, a publication for the clients of Atlantic Trust, has a very good article on ethical wills this month and it was very nice to have the chance to serve as a resource and provide what I hope is helpful information for readers.  The author quotes a medieval ethical will, written by R. Asher:  [...]

  • Practical way to jumpstart a conversation about an ethical will

    When I give a presentation for advisors on how to introduce the topic of ethical wills into client conversations, as I did today, talk always turns to the practical. This is good. I am realistic about the challenges of introducing what may be an unfamiliar topic and also realistic about the challenges of getting even [...]

March 2010

  • What “counts” for me and my family?

    James Barnes, Vanguard Charitable Program, as written a very thoughtful piece about family conversations around charitable purpose. I like the question he asks people to consider, “What counts for me and my family?” That is a good starting point for thinking about how to share in the most natural way the answer to the question, [...]

  • Sex or money: what’s harder to talk to your kids about?

    It’s money, according to Amy Butte at Tile Financial.  She’d got some good points and some good advice.

  • Introducing the idea of “Slow Medicine”

    An good article and review of a book names an alternative approach for medical treatment for those late in life.  “Fast medicine” is described as the cascading cycle of tests, pills, surgeries  and treatments that doctors, patients and families enter into  with the best of intentions but that may – or may not – extend [...]

  • Incorporating ethical wills into financial planning process

    One of the ways that Mosiac Partners, a financial planning firm in San Francisco, distinguishes itself is its active promotion of ethical wills as part of the work clients do with them. President Norman Boone wrote a nice article on the subject this week.

  • Serving affluent clients in deeper ways

    A good article just out from Financial Planning News outlines the opportunity that the financial crisis offers for financial advisors to broaden and personalize their relationships with their affluent clients. Many advisors report that The Wealth of Your Life guidebook on creating an ethical will is a helpful prop for easing into conversations with clients [...]

  • Another kind of Oscar list: Positive psychology movie awards

    In his workshops for therapists and coaches, Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D., likes to use movie clips to illustrate character strengths.  In honor of the Oscars, he has put together a list of his top 10 for 2009. Some are well known, others more obscure, but they all look great.  Read his descriptions.

  • How to talk to your parents about their estate plan

    Hurt feelings and misunderstandings last forever if children are surprised by decisions their parents made for their estate plan and never explained before death. There are some good examples in this article in yesterday’s New York Times about the benefits, and challenges, of intergenerational conversations covering topics like uneven distribution of assets or a decision [...]

  • Card from Mom to her soldier son

    A great story came across my desk this morning,  about the impact of a mother’s words on her son in the field.  Home, he pulls out the card she sent him, now stained with mud.  “It was tough,” he tells her. “I felt myself slipping into depression.  At night when I couldn’t sleep and wondered [...]

  • No such thing as a nuetral question

    Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is a branch of positive psychology that focuses on creating the framework for conversations that pull people forward into insightful, positive terrain. Ed Jacobson is a very known in AI circles and I feel very fortunate to be part of a group that will be meeting  with him once a month for [...]

  • Enlist children and grandchildren to encourage the older generation to create an ethical will

    One of the most common mental obstacles that people face when they consider writing an ethical will is the voice in their heads that says, “I wouldn’t want to presume that anyone is interested in what I might have to say. It might  seem like I am bragging or drawing too much attention to myself. [...]

February 2010

  • What are the missing conversations?

    This excellent question was posed to me today by an executive in philanthropic services. It was how he framed the  opportunity that advisors have to discuss with their clients the gaps in communication that might exist within their families, or with their successors or trustees.  It  was reminder again of the critical role of the [...]

  • The mythic lessons of sports

    Canadian gold medalist in moguls Alexandre Bilodeau is all over the news today. Its not only because he won Canada’s first home turf gold medal in history, but because everyone loves the story about the relationship between Alex and his older brother Frederick, disabled with cerebral palsy.  Every TV channel shows footage of Frederick standing [...]

  • Ordinary Miracle

    Like millions of others all across the globe last night I watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics on television. The high tech evocation of nature, spirit and athleticism were spell binding, maybe ever more so knowing that it was unfolding just down the street from where I am staying with my husband on a [...]

  • Witnessing the Olympic Torch Run

    Early this morning I joined thousands of other people lining the streets of Vancouver and watched a portion of the final stage of the Olympic torch run. How lucky am I? The flame has passed hand to hand for 45,000 km over the past few months all across Canada. It has been transported in over [...]

  • Move over movie stars

    A good little quiz came across my email today, reminding me about who ends up making the difference in our lives.

  • Extraordinary parents

    Tonight was an extraordinary night, leading a focus group of 6 parents of special needs children, organized by attorneys Annette Hines and Harry Margolis (Margolis and Bloom) as part of an investigation into the easiest way for parents to create letters of wishes for caregivers, trustees and guardians carrying out the terms of a special [...]

  • Morning Blessing

    I was given a blessing this morning, not by a minister but by the conductor of the 7:24 AM commuter rail into Boston’s North Station. As we approached our final stop, he got on the intercom and gently instructed us all to appreciate everything the day before us would bring. Moved, I asked a fellow [...]

January 2010

  • Meeting Joline Godfrey today

    Thanks to an invitation by Allison Taff at Silver Bridge Advisors, I had a treat today, sharing lunch with Joline Godfrey. She is the author of among other books, Raising Financially Fit Kids and founder of Independent Means, Inc, a premier provider of financial education products and services for families.  What I love about her [...]

  • Purposeful giving

    There was a good article in Business Week today about taking advantage of the research of organizations that rate the efficiency and effectiveness of charities around the world. The article includes a list of seven organizations that take different approaches to evaluating non-profit organizations. I also learned about a philanthropic twist on the concept of [...]

  • Strategies for intergenerational communication

    I came across a good white paper today published by GenSpring Family Offices, entitled, Breaking the Silence: Helping Clients Discuss Estate Plans with their Families. It offers advisors some good strategies to use with their clients, including questions that explore a client’s  personal  “money history,” each one of which invites a potentially rich response. Of [...]

December 2009

  • A great idea for a family gathering

    I get to be on the receiving end of so many wonderful stories. Here’s a good one I heard today from a 75 year old woman I had the pleasure of sitting next to at a luncheon today. She told me about celebrating her birthday with all her grandchildren this fall at a cabin in [...]

November 2009

  • Reflections on Alzheimer’s conference

    I had the privilege of addressing the WV Alzheimers Assocation today at their annual state conference.  Often people share with me their regret they didn’t capture more from a parent before they were afflicted with memory loss. This group of caregivers and administrators know the losses  better than anyone. I opened the presentation with reading [...]

  • Dr. Andrew Weil’s Tip For the Day-Write an Ethical Will

    Healthy living guru Dr. Andrew Weill is a passionate advocate for writing an ethical will. Its on his list for the 12 most important things a person should do. Read the article

  • “We are in essence forward-looking creatures”

    I liked the essay that Clemson philosophy professor Todd May wrote for the New York Times today, reflecting on why it goes against our modern grain to live in consciousness of death.  “One of the reasons Eastern philosophies have developed techniques to train us to be in the moment is that it is not our [...]

October 2009

  • Nuggets: thoughts after panel discussion with philanthropic luminaries Jay Hughes and Kate Guedj

    I was fortunate to be part of a web panel presentation yesterday with attorney and author Jay Hughes and Kate Guedj from the Boston Foundation: The Challenges and Rewards of Expressing Donor Intent. It was moderated by Amy Ellsworth from The Philanthropic Initiative. Hughes, who first articulated the notion that the definition of a family [...]

  • Thoughts after leading WPO Retreat

    What a privilege to be the co-leader this week for a three day retreat on writing an ethical will, organized by a WPO Forum group and held at a lovely country inn  in Buck’s County, PA.  Speaking for both myself and my co-leader (psychologist and story-teller extraordinaire Lani Peterson) it was by turns moving, inspiring, [...]